Recently this mail hit my inbox.
Dear Angela:
My friends say I speak very fast but I don’t realize it. Could this be a hindrance to getting a job during an interview? If it is, please advise me on how I can solve the problem. Charles.
Dear Charles,
I find it interesting that you write about this just finished interviewing a lady who had all the right skills and qualifications that just went on and on. I was exhausted from listening, at the end I gave up on her! There are a few situations where talking too much can cause problems, work is one of them. You don’t want to be the one “talking” up most of your colleagues time. Try as much as possible in the work hours to keep the small talk to a minimum and get down to business.
That said, here are a few tricks that you can use;
1. Repetition. If you catch yourself finishing people’s sentence, pause, and repeat what they say in you mind. This gives you a second or two to then think of the answer or if they are just talking and you need to listen you will end up not interrupting them.
2. Take a deep breath. When you are asked a question, take a deep breath then answer. But don’t look like you are panting. This will allows you to gather your thoughts then give a good answer. Also it stops you from interrupting people which may be construed as rude. Answering to quickly may also make the person questioning you think that you are “unthinking” or arrogant. Not a good impression.
3. Hush.
Sometimes in big formal meetings, you may find yourself answering all
the questions and going on about them. This is not very good. It can
make people feel that you are not paying attention to them or their
opinion.
4. Listen. Also a friend of mine said “You have two ears and one mouth for a good reason!” Listen more and talk less.
5. Consciously slow down. Especially when you are talking with older people, people with authority, or people in general. You will notice things will be a lot calmer and they will respect you more as they feel listened to.
6. BITE YOUR TOUNGE, if all else fails. The first time I heard this, I bit the tip of my tongue. Now I’m pretty sure this was not what they meant, but at that time it worked. The person was really just trying to ask me to keep my mouth shut.
7. Don’t find fault, find a solution. Many times you may find yourself in a verbal conflict. We normally engage without much thought, but many times arguing can leave the situation worse, and without a solution.
As I engage I always ask two things; 10 years from now will this issue matter? And, do I always have to prove my point/be right. Most of the time the answer is, NO. There is one I heard recently, I think of it when someone is behaving badly. When there is a driver badly and almost hits you let him go have his accident somewhere else.
Dear Angela:
My friends say I speak very fast but I don’t realize it. Could this be a hindrance to getting a job during an interview? If it is, please advise me on how I can solve the problem. Charles.
Dear Charles,
I find it interesting that you write about this just finished interviewing a lady who had all the right skills and qualifications that just went on and on. I was exhausted from listening, at the end I gave up on her! There are a few situations where talking too much can cause problems, work is one of them. You don’t want to be the one “talking” up most of your colleagues time. Try as much as possible in the work hours to keep the small talk to a minimum and get down to business.
That said, here are a few tricks that you can use;
1. Repetition. If you catch yourself finishing people’s sentence, pause, and repeat what they say in you mind. This gives you a second or two to then think of the answer or if they are just talking and you need to listen you will end up not interrupting them.
2. Take a deep breath. When you are asked a question, take a deep breath then answer. But don’t look like you are panting. This will allows you to gather your thoughts then give a good answer. Also it stops you from interrupting people which may be construed as rude. Answering to quickly may also make the person questioning you think that you are “unthinking” or arrogant. Not a good impression.
3. Hush.
Sometimes in big formal meetings, you may find yourself answering all
the questions and going on about them. This is not very good. It can
make people feel that you are not paying attention to them or their
opinion.4. Listen. Also a friend of mine said “You have two ears and one mouth for a good reason!” Listen more and talk less.
5. Consciously slow down. Especially when you are talking with older people, people with authority, or people in general. You will notice things will be a lot calmer and they will respect you more as they feel listened to.
6. BITE YOUR TOUNGE, if all else fails. The first time I heard this, I bit the tip of my tongue. Now I’m pretty sure this was not what they meant, but at that time it worked. The person was really just trying to ask me to keep my mouth shut.
7. Don’t find fault, find a solution. Many times you may find yourself in a verbal conflict. We normally engage without much thought, but many times arguing can leave the situation worse, and without a solution.
As I engage I always ask two things; 10 years from now will this issue matter? And, do I always have to prove my point/be right. Most of the time the answer is, NO. There is one I heard recently, I think of it when someone is behaving badly. When there is a driver badly and almost hits you let him go have his accident somewhere else.
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